you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
