He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
