She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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