hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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