i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Operation Purity has been aborted
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
