just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize