Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
