Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
