I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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