So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
