White coat. Heels.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
