I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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