Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
