so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
