You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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