under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
