I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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