how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
