i wish there were pregnant emoticons
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
