Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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