I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize