if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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