I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
