I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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