this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize