he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Pants are for mortals
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