i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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