is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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