thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
