I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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