ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
