someone threw a dead crab at me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She even gives head with a lisp.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize