so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
