hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
