Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
