Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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