im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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