yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
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I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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