He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
