I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
