I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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