K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
