i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
its not stalking. its research.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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