Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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