Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
