hotel room ftw
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
