Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
