There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
