Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
