Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
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I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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