I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
