you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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