you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Let's get the cat blown out
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
