I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
