i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
