How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
