One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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