I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
