She said her name was "party"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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