Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
