Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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