People in love make me want to vomit
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
