you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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