the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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